I Remember A Shadow
by Malikah
Summary: "The godly family would be perfect, if it were not for the shadow tainting their pristine demeanor, the man of unmatchable darkness within the ranges of Asgard, God of Lies and Mischief, who seemed to have swallowed all the darkness that whole Asgard lacked into his lean but unimposing stature." / Oneshot / Inspired by charlotvanh's "I remember a shadow..."


_Welcome! Here's another oneshot, this one's inspired by __**charlotvanh**__'s picture "I Remember A Shadow", which you can find on deviantart._

_After I saw "Thor - The Dark World", well, for me, I thought Thor was a bit harsh to Loki when he went to ask for his help. I mean, yeah, sure, he's like, a super-villain, wanted to conquer earth and stuff, but I just think that there was such a terrible lack of brotherly love between them... and I had to remedy that... at least a bit :D_

_So, I hope you enjoy the oneshot, sorry for any mistakes!_

_While I wrote that, I listened to Monster by __**Imagine Dragons**__. Don't you think, it fits perfectly to Loki?_

_Oh, and on another note... don't you think it is incredibly cruel from Odin, that even though he knows that his child is a Frost Giant, Thor and Loki are still told that the Jötunns are horrible creatures all their lifes? Didn't he think about what would happen if Loki found out that he was a creature hated by whole Asgard? That thought came somewhere during writing and I thought this was nothing but cruel. What do you think?_

_Enjoy the oneshot!_

**Disclaimer: **Obviously, nothing is mine.** :(**

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**I Remember A Shadow**

_Words: 2250_

Asgard – the realm of gold and light, greatness and splendor, imposing structures and breath-taking nature; shining brighter than the sun, it was the most marvelous and grandiose of all nine realms, the Aesir the strongest of all races, warriors by heart and bulging with strength. Their King, Odin the Allfather, ruled strictly but wisely, the realms feared and respected him, his crown and his family. With Frigga, the ethereal Goddess and tender and loving mother, and Thor, mighty God of Thunder and proud and boisterous son, the godly family would be perfect, shining brightly and basking in their power, ruling over the other realms in peace and quiet. If it were not for the shadow tainting their pristine demeanor, the man of unmatchable darkness within the ranges of Asgard, God of Lies and Mischief, who seemed to have swallowed all the darkness that whole Asgard lacked into his lean but unimposing stature, creating a shadow as dark as his midnight hair, the shadow, casted by the Allfather and Thor, soon-to-be King, in which he had been remaining for thousands of years; overseen and forgotten in the rulers' stead, in spite of being son and brother. Despite of being part of this godly family, he was being looked down upon, disliked, despised. He didn't fit into the picture and nobody forfeited to let him forget that. Wherever he stepped, whenever he thought he overcame the issue of not fitting in, the Aesir didn't miss a chance – some openly, others insinuating – to point out that he did not fit into the image of the Aesir, that his dark hair, pale skin and deep green eyes were no traits of an Asgardian, that he lacked the strength and greatness his brother possessed, or the bright golden, ethereal demeanor of his mother, that he was cunning and a trickster, unable to fend for his realm equally to his brother, instead having to fall back to tricks and magic. It was a trait that Asgardians despised, raw strength was what they adored, but Thor's shadow has never possessed it.

His element war literature and magic, he was quiet and kept to himself ever since he was a child, while Thor was the loud one, always going on a rampage and getting himself into some kind of trouble. And this didn't change until he was much older and technically much more mature. On the day of his coronation, Loki had been his shadow again, while the mighty God of Thunder was a nervous mess, anticipating the crown like nothing before. Loki supported him constantly; he'd been over the taunts of his peers and instead supported him in the idea of eliminating Laufey and the Frost Giants. Ever since they were children, it was rammed down their throats that Frost Giants were their enemies, despicable creatures from the most horrible realm Jötunheimr and worthy of nothing but death. So that's what they'd deliver. Never in his life would Loki have ever considered being a Jötunn himself. Yes, he'd always been different, the dark sheep between Asgard's golden ones, but having to learn about his true heritage in this manner… after years of horror stories about the bad Frost Giants… he was devastated and wanted nothing but eliminate the Jötunns, thinking that maybe, just maybe, he would regain his status as Odin's son and heir, making him proud by his actions instead of disgusted by his true heritage. But his mischief, lies and trickery led him to nothing, he'd lost his family, his life and he fell from Asgard. He became enraged. All of his efforts have been in vain. Similar to his whole life, his actions were not appreciated and he was still looked down upon, still the shadow, dark and despised. His desire to rise above the position of a dumb God's shadow increased to the point in which he had all of Midgard almost on their knees, from where they would never have been able to ever look down on him, while he basked in the light of his glorious purpose. But even this small, unimportant realm wasn't granted him. Thor took it from him, like everything else. His father's preference, the crown, Mjölnir and now Midgard. Whatever Loki desired, Thor took it from him, while he still basked in the admiration of whole Asgard and Loki was nothing but a shadow.

So now, while he sat in Asgard's prison to atone for all his supposed sins, the mighty Thor granted him a visit and Loki had to hold himself back to not lose his control.

"After all this time, now you come to visit me, brother." His gaze rested on the opposite wall, as he deemed the foolish wielder of Mjölnir unworthy to look upon. His legs were propped up and he put his elbows on his knees, his hands hanging between his legs, fingers toying with a loose thread, while his eyes narrowed. Mock curiosity scraped against his brain, wanting to know exactly the reason for showing up just now, after months of banishment and desolation.

"Why?" the God of Mischief prodded, a slight edge to his harsh words. "To mock?" the accusation slipped past his thin lips and out of the corner of his eyes, he could see the mighty Thor flinch at his sharp tongue, yet Loki still decided against eying his once-brother, just to spite him.

"I need your help." Thor admitted heavily and Loki had to contain himself to not laugh into his worried face. The great, mighty Thor… and he needed his help? Loki was just about to comment in a similar manner as Thor spoke up again, slowly, hopefully. "But I wish I could trust you."

Loki snorted soundlessly. Trust? Trust was a devious snake, luring with its enticing color, the hypnotizing swish of its movements and its sweet, wooing words, right before it turns on you, burying its long, sharp teeth into your body, filling it with poison that kills you slowly, torturously, while you're incapable of stopping it and only have enough time to contemplate the mistake of believing that such a poisonous, deathly animal would not turn on you. He had trusted many people and all of them have turned out to be unworthy of this sentiment. Trust. What childish, wishful thinking.

"If you did, you'd be the fool I always took you for." Loki retorted, his voice a cutting bark, the insult falling from his lips with ease, as the venom that he had stored inside of his being for all these years coated every word he spoke. He finally turned his cold emerald gaze to the soon-to-be King, eying the disheveled and haggard state of dress, his eyes haunted as they flickered between Loki's eyes worriedly. Loki gave a short, sharp laugh which resembled a bark.

"You must be truly desperate, to come to me for help." His voice was a soft, silent sneer as he smirked and raised himself from the place on the ground, gazing upon the God of Thunder with palpable disdain in his emerald eyes, while his dark, curly hair framed his pale face like a veil, concealing him, as if he were trying to spare the God of Thunder the sight of this creature that he has become, the creature the God himself led him to become. After all, it was the God of Thunder who led him to this point. Now you have to reap just what you've sown, brother.

"If we do nothing, they will destroy us." Thor pleaded, confirming his desperation while his big, honest eyes captured Loki's, trying his best to convince his brother to help him with this. And then he saw Loki snort and he knew, he just knew that the God of Mischief wouldn't be moved by that.

"Whatever leads you to thinking that I care?" he hissed, hands clenching into unnoticed fists while the venom dripped from his mouth, the silver tongue lashing out with every word he said.

"Loki, this is your home, this is our home. How can you be so indifferent about this?" Thor demanded, anger boiling in his usually impulsive self while he glared at his brother accusingly.

"My home?" he spat, eyebrows drawn together forming an angry line, while disbelief and hatred shone in his blazing eyes. "The only home I've had for months now is this prison and none of you have ever felt anything but indifferent about me! Why would I help you arrogant, foolish Asgardians in a fight from which I'd never emerge as the victor?"

"Brother, I-" Thor began slowly, cautiously.

"I am not your brother!" Loki hissed, his fingernails drawing blood as the anger built up, blood boiling in his veins. "Nor was I ever! All I've ever been is a shadow to that high and mightiness of you and the Allfather, men who apparently now, after thousands of years realize that they need help from the shadow they despised and looked down upon, but do you know what, Thor? It will not happen. For years I've been looked down upon, degraded, despised, always the silent, hated shadow of the mighty Thor, never noticed while he basked in the light, and I was an insect, nothing more. So how dare you ask for my help in saving the people that did nothing but hate me, frolicking in my pain and agony, eager to see me punished and never forfeiting to let me know of my disability of being more than a shadow tainting the godly family?" He turned around sharply, letting out a huff while his hands clenched even more tightly. He cursed himself for losing his control, but there was nothing he could do about that now, more than returning to his usual, indifferent state. When Thor did not answer, Loki let out a sharp laugh.

"Well, well, don't you have anything to say, oh mighty Thor?" he mocked, darting a glance over his shoulder at the God, while a derisive smirk stretched his lips.

"We… we have never been indifferent about you, Loki."

The addressed God snorted, opening his lips for a retort but Thor cut him short, stepping up until he rested inches from the glass of his cell. The God of Thunder spoke heavily, every word weighted silently before he let it pass his lips, cautious to deliver the message he had in mind and to convince his brother of his believes.

"Indeed, I remember a shadow, Loki, but it was a calming presence behind my back, reassuring that whenever I turned, you would be there, patiently waiting to help me back on my feet after I did something stupid and instinctive. I always knew that whatever stupidity I committed, whatever mistake I made, you would bail me out of it, that cunning smirk in place while you talked us out of the trouble, and I never doubted that you would stand behind my back, supporting and guarding as best as you could, making your family proud, making me proud of having a brother like you. We never looked down upon you, not the Allfather, not mother and especially not I. Everybody has a shadow, and I've been without one since you lost your way, a ghost to the world, incomplete and going mad. So yes, Loki, I remember a shadow, it was my beloved brother, the one I could always put my trust in, the one I respected for his abilities that surpassed mine by far, the one that was my other half. And you can call me a fool all you want, but I will not lose the trust that I put in you all those years ago."

His chest was heaving while he clenched his hands into fists, lips pressed shut as he waited for his brother's answer.

The thoughts were rushing through Loki's tangled mind, all the memories came crashing down on him, images of situations in which he had the upper hand, his sharp mind and intellect had bailed Thor out of trouble countless times indeed and Thor looked towards him repeatedly when he was insecure, eager to hear his opinion, to make him a part of his experiences, even right before his crowning he looked to him for support. These brief images linked with Thor's words send Loki into a frenzy; he didn't know what was the truth anymore. The Aesir had hurt him countless times, over and over again, he was convinced that they had mistreated him and overlooked him due to his looks, his magic, his… otherness. He had wounds that went deep enough that he couldn't even hope for them to heal in another thousand years and he would probably never be able to trust any living thing ever again, but… the fact that Thor still trusted him was a foolishness that he enjoyed, be might have thought about it as idiotism and folly but… his words… they touched the Frost Giant in a place that was covered in layers of ice, hatred and disdain, making something clench in his chest while these pleading eyes bored into his incessantly, waiting for his answer, waiting for his support, for the help to bring him back onto his feet. And despite all the hatred he felt towards the Allfather, the Aesir and whole Asgard, something inside of him churned and Loki locked his eyes with his brother's, a slow, sinister yet sarcastic smirk tugging at the corners of his lips as he spoke.

"So, when do we start?"

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_I hope you liked it!_

_If you have the time, feel free to leave me a review!_

_Anyways, thanks for reading :)_

_- Malikah_


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